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Who are the Abusers?
- Abusers come from all economic,
racial, ethnic and religious groups. Abusers can be friends, neighbors
and relatives. Abusers are men and women; they are adults of all ages.
- It is a sad irony that many abusers
genuinely love children. Often they find themselves caught in life
situations beyond their control and they don't know how to cope.
- Abusers are often isolated from
friends and family and may have no one to give them emotional support.
- Abusers often perceive a
child as being "different" or having special needs that set
that child apart from other children. Perhaps the child was
illegitimate, the result of an unplanned pregnancy, a
difficult birth or was wanted for the wrong reasons-to
resolve a parent's own problems, for example. Sometimes the
child's mannerisms or behavior remind the parent of his or
her own childhood self or of another adult whom the parent
now dislikes.
- Abusers tend to have
unrealistic or inappropriate expectations of their children.
They may set standards impossibly high. They may, for
example, wrongly believe that children should always be
quiet or never make a mistake or never get dirty.
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